I had a client—we’ll call her Linda—who had an employee—we’ll call him Manny—who struggled to get along with team members. Manny had unique skills critical to the success of the business, so Linda tried to “make it work.”
She learned not to take Manny’s caustic behavior personally. She matched his verbal tone during heated conversations, exerting her authority as the boss, and “reining him in” when he stepped too far out of line. Linda became an expert at stroking his ego so he stayed committed to the organization.
The only problem was that Manny’s behavior went against their values of integrity and healthy conflict. By “making it work,” she created a precedent of contradiction.
As a result, other employees took self-involved positions rather than considering the needs of the collective, and toxic drama became a constant companion in Linda’s day-to-day work. It wasn’t until all the individuals involved in such disorienting and selfish behavior were let go that she realized just how pervasive the problem was. The dysfunction jeopardized their business success as they failed to deliver on their brand promises for months on end.
Valuable, limited resources went towards “walking on eggshells” rather than solving real business problems.
This is the fallacy of “making it work” that many wholehearted leaders fall into. Empathy turns into excuses. Care for others is weaponized against them. And accountability becomes the vegetables no one wants to eat.
As leaders strive to create more inclusive workplaces, it begs for more discussion around when it’s appropriate to give others grace versus when it’s necessary to hand them a pink slip.
Does a narcissistic personality type warrant special accommodations that enable them to perpetuate not just unhealthy, but downright abusive, team dynamics?
When posed that way, the answer seems obvious: No!
But navigating these challenges in the moment is tricky. For starters, it’s not a leader’s job to pathologize their team members. Beyond that, it takes skill and experience to distinguish between dealing with unique personality traits and managing an uncoachable team member who’s incapable of truly embodying the organization’s collective values.
This is where an outside perspective goes a long way, which is what Linda sought in working with me. Having a safe space and a qualified person to process these situations with is freeing. Otherwise, there’s a great risk of operating from old scripts running in the background that enable toxic behavior to prevail when it could have been effectively eliminated early on.
The sooner these problems get resolved, the less fallout and mess there will be to clean up later. Instead of “making it work,” the whole team is freed up to thrive together.
Comentarios