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Writer's pictureAriana Friedlander

4 Reflections Questions for Improving Your Relationship with Technology

When I set my goals for 2017 there was no doubt that I had to do something about my compulsive habit of checking email and Facebook. Despite my efforts over years to draw better boundaries, I found myself sinking into feelings of despair time and time again just from clicking an app on my phone.

I would be spending time with my daughter, feeling pretty good. Then pickup my phone and check my email or Facebook and suddenly be in a foul mode. I was stuck in a rough and discouraging pattern where technology was triggering me multiple times a day, taking my attention away from what really matters and setting me into tailspins.


As I’ve talked with other young professionals (I’ve interviewed over 70 so far), I have found that improving our relationship with technology is a common challenge. Despite the widespread belief that millennials are technocrats, I’ve learned that technical proficiency does not a love affair make. I even hear avid technologist lamenting about social media, deleting the apps from their phone or canceling their accounts all together (not that this is all about social media).

We need technology, but sometimes we just can’t stand it. It seems like a lot of us feel stuck with it, like there’s a pervasive victim mentality going on. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about navigating change, it fundamentally starts with understanding than shifting our underlying beliefs.

So, in 2017 I set a goal for myself, to “Improve how I use technology so it makes me a better person.”

My year long effort to improve how I use technology has been eye opening. True, this is another one of my goals which requires continuous effort, therefor it’s not conventionally S.M.A.R.T. But I find goals like this inspiring, it provokes me to reflect and act – at the end of the day a goal’s only as good as your effort to reach it.

I’m still very much a work in progress on this one myself. I can say that I’ve seen a remarkable shift in how I approach technology which is enabling me to shift the power differential from a victim mentality. And who knows, your own tussle with technology could have a completely different limiting story line than my own. Either way these questions I reflected on in my journal could help improve your relationship with technology.

Reflection Questions for Improving Your Relationship with Technology

  1. What does it mean for my use of technology to make me a better person?

  2. What technology do I use?

  3. What are the pro’s and con’s of the technology I use?

  4. How could I better use technology to reach my full potential?

What’s Rosabella Consulting Up To?

For the last few weeks, I’ve had the pleasure of giving very well received presentations about Conversational Intelligence®! I co-presented at two BBB Safety Seminars (one in Loveland and one in Denver) on Your Brain at Work in Safety Conversations. And gave a talk at Made in Loveland last week. Next week I’ll be presenting at Thinker Fest (want to join me?).

Here are some of the things the BBB participants reported learning:

  1. “I learned that the way I phrase things or ask them can impact the way they are responded or reacted.”

  2. “Techniques on handling employees better”

  3. “sometimes safety is a matter of perception”

  4. “I learned about Conversational Intelligence and how it can affect our work when we are trying to be safe in any aspect.”

  5. “Monitoring the way you say things to people to make sure that you don’t cause them to react in a negative way.”

  6. “I learned to think about safety in multiple perspectives.”

  7. “T.H.R.E.A.T.S. trigger distrust.”

  8. “4 THREAT responses to triggers: Fight, Flight, Freeze, APPEASE- didn’t know this!”

  9. “Old dogs CAN learn new tricks!”

Contact us to learn more about bringing a Conversational Intelligence® training to your organization!

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