The Secret Ingredient to Fostering Positive Change

Posted on March 13, 2013 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

In 2008 my husband and I bought our first place, a condo in Fort Collins. Always striving to live sustainably, I was on a mission (fostering positive change) to make the Cottonwood Condos a destination for Green, Downtown living. Almost immediately, I convinced the HOA president to join Climate Wise. After all, it was a free, City sponsored program that could help us to save some money – cha-ching.

I had these grand visions and expectations of how we were going to make the Cottonwood Condos more green. We got our Climate Wise assessment and found that there were some big projects on there. I presented a few ideas at the annual meeting later that year…our journey had begun.

Now, almost 5 years later, the Cottonwood Condo’s will be the first HOA to receive Gold level status from Climate Wise. We have a compost pile, upgraded our washers/dryers to high efficiency models, did a green remodel to the common areas…and we still have more projects in the works!

Yay Cottonwood Condos!

In addition to the building improvements we’ve created a stronger sense of community. We hosted two ZEDfest parties, organized community cleanups, worked together on projects and organized into sub-committees…We wouldn’t be receiving Gold status if it wasn’t for dedicated community members coming together and contributing (as volunteers mind you) to the overall effort, which has been awesome (thank you!).

We’re not good at taking pics…slim pickings!

But it wasn’t always like this. The last 5 years haven’t exactly been chocked full of huge wins and big feats of change. Not long after sharing my ideas at the annual meeting I learned that I was met with feigned interest and a lot of resistance. Many held the perception that we’d already done enough (all the light fixtures in the common areas were CFL’s after all) and that things were just fine the way they were!

Another obstacle I faced was the hefty price tag on most of the improvements. We’re a small organization with limited resources. And nothing causes things to come to a screeching halt like “the budget!”

Despite these challenges I did not despair, at least not right away. I joined the Board of Directors. I threw out ideas at the meetings. For example, we had an inoperable solar thermal system on the roof, Climate Wise said it was the biggest array in the city they’d seen at the time. This gem sat dormant for years. I was determined to get it up and running…that didn’t happen, nor did most of my ideas, not much happened for a while.

Just when I felt hope was lost for the Cottonwoods, residents began to step up and take an interest in our little community like never before. Things that weren’t at all a part of my own master plan for the association started happening. It felt rather sudden, “Surprise!” we are changing for the better.

You know what I finally did? Do you know the secret ingredient to fostering positive change? It’s what I didn’t do; I stopped pushing the ideas I had for specific things I thought we should do. I’d actually felt like giving up entirely, I learned this by happenstance. It was when I let go, when I stopped caring so much about making my own ideas happen that other people started stepping up! The seed had been planted, people believed the Cottonwood Condos could be better.

So, that’s the secret ingredient to fostering positive change. Let go, stop caring so much about every little piece of the puzzle and making good on your own master-plan. It’s not just about you! What you are responsible for is sparking people’s interest. For providing a little direction towards an ideal destination and engaging your comrades by challenging them to help make the vision happen! If you fixate too much on your own grand plan you alienate people and without the participation of others nothing changes for the better.

Managing Change – The Three Elements for Fostering Positive Change

Posted on March 6, 2013 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

If only it was a simple as following the signs!

I’ve been fairly intrigued with managing, creating and fostering positive change for quite a while now. My interest stemmed from the realization that “things” aren’t working the way they are and in order to improve people need to change….

I’ve learned through experience that creating change is not easy. That good intentions, passion and dedication are not enough to encourage others to change. And that deep, meaningful change takes time. Some of my own personal crusades have been around encouraging individuals to make life-style changes to positively (or at least less negatively) impact our environment and our communities. I’ve driven organizational change as well.

I’ve run in the same circles with many other change agents for years now. And the one caveat I hear too often is that people won’t do, what appears to be, the obvious solution to a problem. I think sometimes as agents for change we mistaken good intentions and purpose driven motives with a gestapo like dedication to our own personal vision. “It’s my way or else!”

But in reality, creating change is more a game of finesse than brute force. There are many complicated moving parts like old habits, the existing culture, established systems, and the emotions of everyone involved. As a change agent, you have to balance providing direction without dictating every piece of the solution. You have to engage people on an emotional level without alienating or discouraging folks. And lastly (but really firstly), you must model changing yourself. These encompass the three elements for successfully fostering positive change:

Change Yourself First – This is where many efforts fall flat. If you want to encourage change in others it starts by changing yourself first. You might be thinking, “but I’m already practicing what I preach, I recycle, I compost, I bike instead of driving…” If you’re already modeling the behavior you want others to do (which is imperative) than the change you likely have to make is in how you interact with others and how you lead your efforts. I guarantee you, there’s something you’re doing or a way you think about the world that’s inhibiting your change efforts. So take stock, what skills could you develop? What relationships do you need to build? What old habits do you need to change? In Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit, he simplifies the process for changing habits. Every habit is made up of three parts, the Cue, the Routine and the Reward. You can’t eliminate a habit once it’s formed but you can change the habit by changing the routine.
Seeing the Future – All successful change agents have a vision of what they are working towards that is shared with their tribe. The key is to have a vision for the future that’s inspiring, hopeful and meaningful to people without being too prescriptive. What inspires you to change (think Global Warming) might not motivate the guy in the cubicle next to you. But if you dig deep enough, you’ll find some common values (like not being wasteful) on which you can build your shared vision for positive change. Duhigg shared the story of a successful organizational change in his book. The CEO inherited a fledging company and his vision to turn it around was to create a safe workplace with no accidents. Many people thought the new CEO was a dunce and some shareholders bailed out at that point. But his vision created positive change and the company became the most profitable manufacturer in their industry.
Encouraging Change Among Others – One of my favorite TEDxCSU talks this past weekend was by Jeni Cross about the 3 Myths of Creating Change. They are 1) Education will encourage change (education alone isn’t enough), 2) You need to change attitudes to change behavior (nope, attitudes actually follow behavior), and 3) People know what motivates them (the good old carrot or the stick…actually neither will effectively get the job done). The Heath brothers outline three steps for creating change in their book Switch, A) Directing the Rider, B) Motivating the Elephant, and C) Shaping the Path. In other words, you need to make both a rational and an emotional appeal while removing obstacles to ease the transition from the old to the new ways. And as Jeni says, “common sense is the enemy of change.”

Suffice it to say that creating change is quite a comprehensive process that takes dedication, perseverance, and patience. For your efforts to be effective, all of these pieces must align. Your personal change efforts must help you to make progress towards accomplishing your vision, which needs to support the way you encourage change among others.

Would you like to further your own skills and knowledge as an agent of change? Join us for an EntrepreNerds book discussion on Thursday March 14th, noon-1:30pm in Fort Collins, CO. More information and RSVP online.

“Buy a Book By Its Cover” – Words, Triggers and Decisions

Posted on February 27, 2013 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

Be Glorious performing our Burning Questions

I just laughed my ass off at the ELTC fundraiser, Word Play Literacy Theatre: A Night of Improv. It was a night to be remembered. Be Glorious, a local improv troupe, entertained us. Everyone in the audience was asked to provide a line of dialogue from a movie or a book and a burning question. It was LOL from the very beginning.

As part of the act, there was a fundraising activity “buy a book by its cover.” We had over 50 books, graciously donated by Old Firehouse Books, for sell for $20 each. They all had a prize worth at least $10 inside them and there was a grand prize, a nook in one. Members of the troupe read the titles of each book, elaborating on the the premise until someone from the audience raised their hand. Of course I bought a book.

Of all 50 titles, what kind of book do you think I got? I totally bought an EntrepreNerds book, I mean I’m not sure it’s EntrepreNerds quality but it definitely fits the genre. Not only that, to make my purchase I literally and impulsively jumped up and down screaming, “Oh me, me!” (keep in mind, I was volunteering at this event, running books from stage to the audience only half listening to the troupe).

The book I bought, which will be out this April, is called Give and Take by Adam Grant. It is “a Revolutionary Approach to Success.” Hello, key words I get all tingly over.

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Anyway, I didn’t plan it that way, to buy an “EntrepreNerds” book. I didn’t even know a book like this was in the pile! Most of them seemed to be novels or memoirs. But before I could even form a conscious thought my interest and desire was triggered by these keywords and the decision was made, I must have this book!

It got me thinking about how important word choice is in business, for marketing and organizational leadership, to insight action. Really understanding the effect certain words have on your audience is crucial for communicating effectively. Some words will trigger a decision that benefits you while others practically slam the door in your face.

To be honest, I didn’t even realize that Give and Take, Revolutionary (ok, that’s not true I’ve been consciously triggered by that word for years) and Success were all positive trigger words for me. But now I know! And there in lies both the challenge and the opportunity for entrepreneurs, you must know those trigger words even if your audience does not.

I wonder what books everyone else bought last night and why they were driven to get that one. We’re they pulled because of some maniacal obsession like me? Was there a word that impulsively triggered their decision? Is it possible that people voted for their favorite improv troupe member with their purchase? Or was it purely the energy of the room?

Clearly there are many different factors that will influence our decisions, as is always the case in life. We’re not going to explore all of that know. But, what I really want to know is if anyone else is as excited (and decidedly dorky) as me to read the newest edition to their book shelf?

5 Steps to Building Win-Win Community Partnerships

Posted on December 17, 2012 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

Everyone has at least one hot-button issue. A boss from an old job of mine used to say, “Everything’s sales!” Not surprisingly, I was in a sales position at the time. His was a philosophy I didn’t much care for as it felt kind of… shallow.

When I think of Community I think of the Farmers Market as a great visual!

On the other-hand, one of my personal hot-button issues is community. For me everything in business and life personally, is about building, nurturing and sustaining community. Simply put, I dork out over community. To be fair, I think that working within (and creating) communities is an integral piece to business and personal success these days. I believe people and organizations that can effectively and respectfully leverage community partnerships are at an advantage!

I’ve been building win-win community partnerships for the last 5+ years; it is one of my favorite things. I love meeting others, exploring opportunities for collaboration and executing on a mutually beneficial arrangement. It should come as no surprise that when I started EntrepreNerds earlier this year, I immediately began collaborating with complimentary businesses. The results of which produced outcomes I never expected, nor would I have achieved them on my own!

While everyone’s experiences are usually a little different, there are a few general rules you should follow. I’d like to share the five steps I’ve learned to form win-win community partnerships.

Think Vertically – Brainstorm a list of products or services that directly or indirectly support what you’re doing. For example when starting a business book club, an independently owned book store makes for a good partner.
Who Do You Already Know – Look over your existing contacts and connect with people in positions that compliment your own efforts. Working with your existing contacts usually means you have already established trust as well, that’s an added bonus. For example, I’ve been working with Old Firehouse Books in Fort Collins for years prior to starting EntrepreNerds. In fact, in 2008 I told Susie, the owner, that I thought someone should start a business book club…..
What Do you Have to Offer – It’s easy sometimes to think about the things you can get out of working with others (truly it is, we don’t have to act like we’re totally self-less to be good collaborators). But going to the table with “What’s in it for me” isn’t exactly a win-win proposition. Think about it from their perspective, what genuinely helps them out. Consider the unique value and experterience (yeah, I like that word a lot now, experience + expertise = experterience) that you enjoy bringing to the table. Make it meaningful and manageable.
Set Clear, Mutually Agreed Upon Expectations– I’ve seen many-a-projects go astray when expectations aren’t determined together, and from the beginning. If tis is poorly executed, the trust may begin to disintegrate. Determining who is responsible, and what their responsible for helps to ensure that all bases are covered without stepping on other’s toes as well.
Keep the Conversation Going – Open communication is key. Most partnerships are formed in a dynamic world that’s ever-evolving. As things change, you each grow. Therefore, you must discuss the ways your working relationship will evolve as well. This might mean a change in responsibilities, a shift in the value exchanged, or that you’re going entirely in different directions!

Like mostly everything else in business, managing community partnerships is a continuous process. One that requires on-going effort: to evaluate, strategize and act.

3 Steps to Perfecting the Art of Giving Constructive Feedback

Posted on November 6, 2012 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

Isn’t it annoying when you ask someone for their feedback and all they say is either, “I like it” or ”I don’t like it” with no further explanation. While the former may flatter, and the latter hurt neither really give you a sense of what was done well or how you could improve.

Yes? Good, I’m glad we’ve agreed that’s annoying! I’d like to encourage everyone to make an effort to be more mindful about giving constructive feedback.

The amazing thing about giving constructive feedback is that once people realize your potential, everyone wants your insight. And being sought after as a resource like this is a great tactic for building your business (as long as people value your input appropriately). Giving constructive feedback is an artform, it takes 1) A Critical Eye, 2)A strategic mindset and 3) a diplomatic tongue.

Step 1: A Critical Eye

Photo by Familymwr

The first step in giving constructive feedback is to have a critical eye. What does that mean? It means you’re looking at and for specific things. To be honest what exactly you’re looking for depends on what you’re reviewing.

There are a number of things to consider in order to hone your critical eye in general. First things first, determine why your input is being requested. It is such a simple, yet often overlooked questions. And when you’re seeking feedback be sure to communicate clearly why you’re soliciting the insight of others. Maybe you’re reviewing for clarity, grammar, aesthetics, impact, understanding….the list goes on.

It is also useful to consider what unique perspective and expertise you have to offer. Many people undervalue themselves in this department by thinking, “I’m no expert, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Reframe your perspective for a moment, if you’ve been sought after that’s all the proof you need that you have a valuable perspective to bring and share. Be authentic and sincere with your feedback. Many people will not share their thoughts because they fear ridicule or feel it might be stupid. Worry not about these things, instead explain what informed your reactions.

Take some time to consider what stands out to you – both the good and the bad. Look for things that jump out at you as you’re reviewing another’s work. If you think, “nothing jumps out at me” try looking deeper and revisit why you’ve been asked to provide feedback. A non-reaction is important insight to share as well because usually the creator has an intended impact or outcome they’re striving to achieve.

And lastly, but really first, make a note of your first impressions. Are they positive, neutral, negative? And why did you have that reaction? First impressions are important, make note of your initial reaction and consider if it changed as you finished your review. If so, what made it change and why?

Step 2: A Strategic Mindset
As I mentioned above, most people are expecting certain outcomes or a desired impact from they’re efforts. Be it a blog post, a report for a client, new marketing materials, a presentation, the layout of your store, so-on-and-so-forth. At this point you’re thinking big picture.

Take this one item and put it into a greater context by considering these questions:

What is the end goal here?
What is the desired impact/result of this work?
Who’s the audience?
How does this fit within the big picture?
What other perspectives should be considered?

You may want to ask these questions directly to the creator of what you’re reviewing. Depending on your familiarity with the situation you may already have sufficient insight into the big picture. Sometimes people want to hear your first reactions before providing more background on what they’re working on and that’s fine. Just remember to circle back around to the big picture so your feedback can be incorporated into a broader context and therefore have more relevancy.

Step 3: A Diplomatic Tongue
A diplomatic tongue is the difference between being hurtful and being constructive. Instead of saying what you’re thinking, i.e. “You sound so stupid when you end a sentence with a preposition” say, “It is not professional to end a sentence with a preposition, I suggest rewording.” In general avoiding “you” statements helps the listener to be less defensive and more open to the feedback.

I like to put myself in others’ shoes as I’m giving feedback and I’ll say that. For example, when reviewing a sales letter for a client I said, “When I look at this letter from a CEO’s perspective I think, ‘it’s too long.’ I’m busy and I want you to get right to the point, otherwise I’m going to stop reading at worse and at best skim.”

It is important to remember that feedback is usually (unless you the boss lady) not a directive. The receiver can leave it or take it depending on what’s important to them. As such I like to start some of my recommendations with, “I would.” It’s a great way to convey your perspective without telling someone what they should do; it puts the final decision back in their court.

“I would choose three main points to highlight in your talk then use the stories and examples you shared to emphasize each of those main points.”

When giving constructive feedback, also be sure to praise a job well done. “I really like the colors you’re using for your marketing, they’re bright, happy and convey what you’re all about.”

Follow these three simple steps, 1) A Critical Eye, 2) A Strategic Mindset and 3) A Diplomatic Tongue the next time someone asks for your feedback and feel great about providing valuable insights that are constructive and helpful! And remember to clearly communicate your expectations of others when soliciting feedback so that you may get the most out of other’s time and effort.

Not All Businesses are Bad, Nor All Nonprofits are Inherently Good: 3 Steps to Let Go of Limiting Beliefs

Posted on October 9, 2012 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

A while back a colleague said to me that they only worked with nonprofits and government agencies because they just wanted to help organizations that supported the greater good and not companies trying to make a profit. Clearly this has stuck with me. What I found interesting is that this individual runs a business…..

Photo by Gabus

Beyond that, I heard a basic underlying assumption that I think is antiquated and definitely not always true: all nonprofits are good and all businesses are bad! In theory, this assumption makes sense (kinda). But the reality is that there are nonprofits that are run poorly or operate without integrity in the name of the greater good. In addition, there are now more and more businesses that are committed to benefiting society as well as making a profit.

I recently read The Honest Truth About Dishonesty by Dan Ariely (a great book I highly recommend) and I was intrigued to learn that one of the most compelling reasons people will lie or cheat is for altruism. Apparently, doing something for others gives people this perception that it is ok to bend the rules or flat out break them. Dan Ariely even made a note in his book that while he has not done any research on behavioral economics in the nonprofit sector the correlation there cannot be ignored.

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Please note, I don’t mean to make a blanket judgement about nonprofits. Obviously a commitment to altruism doesn’t equal a lack of integrity. But this is a concern that needs to be more openly addressed and discussed. Instead of making a blanket judgement about an organization’s intent as benevolent or malevolent based on their tax ID status, we need to look at additional indicators for assessing their “goodness.” And we need to let go of limiting beliefs like these that inhibit innovation and ultimately stifle forward progress.

The first step in letting go of these kinds of limiting beliefs is (well kinda like the 12 steps to sobriety) recognizing there’s a problem. The problem being that we possess these “rules” of life which we live by that are in-and-of-themselves limiting beliefs. All business is bad and all nonprofits are good is just one example of a limiting belief. Other examples include: failure is bad, mistakes are unacceptable, or we must never portray our vulnerability.

The second step is to engage in reflection. As Petter Senge says, reflections is the art of “slowing down our thinking process to become more aware” of how our limiting beliefs are formed. This kind of self-reflection may occur in conversation with others, through journaling, or meditation. If this kind of practice is challenging for you, a coach, mentor or teacher can provide invaluable guidance and insight along the way.

The third step is to develop a habit of inquisition by asking probing questions and searching out new information. Remember those times when you (or someone else) got in trouble for questioning authority? Well, don’t let that stop you from challenging others because that in-and-of-itself is also antiquated thinking. As a leader, you not only have to challenge assumptions, you also must deftly address difficult questions.

By following these three (seemingly simple yet difficult in practice) steps we can avoid limiting beliefs or assumptions that ineffectively characterize the world around us and therefore squander our potential to create positive, meaningful change.

The Intuitive Leader: The Road to Innovation is Not Paved

Posted on September 18, 2012 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

I recently read my first book about Steve Jobs and Apple, Insanely Simple by Ken Segall (which was a very pleasant read). I was excited to learn more about this innovative leader that has changed the way we use technology. As I continue to make progress in establishing and growing my own business I find that I am often torn between figuring out the “right way” to do things and making up my own way as I go.

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I was pleased to read stories of how Steve Jobs insisted on not doing anything that felt “corporate” to him. That he did not blindly follow the status quo for business, I believe, created conditions for him and his team to be more innovative. I was particularly intrigued to learn that he refused to use focus groups for his products and marketing, which is a commonly held best practice among businesses. But Jobs believed that the general public did not know what they wanted until he showed it to them and history tells us he was right.

Jobs was able to forgo traditional business practices because he trusted in his own intuitive ability. As the visionary for the company he had a keen sense of purpose, to change the world for the better. And the ability to recognize that since the road to innovation is not paved, you have to do the usual things in new ways and try unconventional means that have never before been done!

Sadly, Einstein's insight still holds true today!

Of course, intuition is a tricky thing to characterize. Many people mistakenly think that intuition is without logic, reason or rationale. But truly our intuitive abilities lie deep within our subconscious and relies on our past experiences, knowledge and vision for the future to inform us if we are on or off track.

So, the next time you’re making a decision between the status quo and a new uncharted path, take a moment to check-in with yourself. Intuition is a skill to be developed, it requires self-awareness, a vision for where you’re going and the ability to synthesize your subconscious thoughts. Developing your intuition takes practice, and I’m not just talking about fluffy new-age stuff.

Based on my own experience I have found that journaling, deep breathing, meditation, exercise and stillness all help me to access my intuition. It tends to emerge more as a feeling where chaos turns to clarity and certainty in my mind, like an Aha moment. Our rational minds can cloud our intuition, which is why it is important to have mechanisms for turning off the judgemental chatter.

It is the rational mind that will convince you to stay with the status quo, to avoid risk and go with the tried and true path. But if you really want to be innovative, to create the change you want to see in the world, than you need to be able to tap into your intuition because the road to where you’re going has not yet been paved.

The Power of Working for a Purpose

Posted on September 4, 2012 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

Circa 1945 from Seattle Municipal Archives

Over the weekend I heard an interview on NPR with Corey Sharp, a DEMCO worker restoring electricity in Louisiana. With Hurricane Issac making landfall just last week, the treturous conditions have resulted in many communities without power. And Melissa Block’s interview with Corey caught my attention as he beamed with pride because his work had a purpose, “definitely it’s a good feeling, you know, putting people’s electricity back on”

When Melissa Block observed, that to restore power he would have to work through the weekend and therefore be “laboring on labor day,” Corey didn’t even seem to notice.

He laughed and responsed, “I definitely will be laboring on Labor Day. It’s OK. It’s OK. It’s what I’m here for. No big deal.” This struck me, I don’t remember the last time I heard someone sound so proud to work on labor day. All I usually hear (and have likely cavetched about myself), are people complaining about not getting the holiday off like everyone else.

Maybe that’s the difference between working just for a paycheck versus working for a purpose. The difference being between external (paycheck) or internal (purpose) motivators. One of these is more powerful a motivator than the other. You guessed it…..purpose will motivate people to strive for more, to take pride in their work and achieve greater outcomes.

Believe it or not, there’s actually proof of this, numerous studies have been conducted to compare the productivity of workers receiving external rewards as motivators against those motivated intrinsically. They found that the extrinsic motivator of money only increased productivity so much before plateauing. Whereas, the intrinsic motivators, purpose, challenge and autonomy, resulted in significantly better outcomes for employers.

Why is this? You might ask! Because, contrary to popular belief, people are more motivated when they’re work has a deeper meaning. Have you ever worked for a boss that constantly drilled improving the bottom line? I have and can attest to the fact that it only provides so much of an incentive. After a while, you get tired of working your ass off just so someone else can take a fancy vacation. And many bosses mistakenly think that if they offer just a bit more of a reward, a bit more money, that you’ll make magic happen.

But the reality is, most people are not that shallow. Sure, it’s great getting time and a half for working on a holiday. But it is even better working for a purpose, making a positive impact in your community and helping others. That’s when people stop complaining about work and embrace their responsibilities with pride; that’s the power of working for a purpose.

Building Valuable Relationships for your Business is just like Cultivating a Good Friendship

Posted on August 30, 2012 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

A Good Friendship

I have found that there are certain friends that I have an instant connection with. We meet, start talking and just get each other. Almost immediately they near the top of my “list” of favorite people (oh come on, you know you have one of those too even if it’s figurative). I feel comfortable, I’m at ease, and being myself around them just feels great.

And then there are those friends that it takes time to build a deep and meaningful relationship with. You might know each other for years, bumping into them with some regularity but never having a real conversation. Despite knowing one-another for a while, we don’t really know each other (as in, I’m not familiar with their story). I usually like the person but for whatever reason, it has taken years to form a connection with them.

And building valuable relationships for your business is just like cultivating a good friendship. Some people you’ll hook instantly. They’ll just jive with your story, value what you have to offer and want to be your fan club president (I have two people vying for the spot right now!). These rare gems instantly become a part of your tribe, will sing unsolicited praise for you and often they understand you better than most anyone else. But forming such a fabulous insta-bond does not usually happen.

While for most people, it takes some time to build meaningful relationships. They might need to develop a taste for your unique flavor. Or quite possibly, they just don’t care enough in the first place to pay you much attention (I know it sounds hurtful,but seriously folks we’ve all got a lot of sh*t going on and simply must ignore things that are not pressing to stay ahead).

Long story short. If you find something in common with a professional contact (client, colleague, provider, etc.), and even better connect with them on a deeper level, you can build positive and lasting relationship that’ll help grow your business. In the end, they will become a part of your tribe.

The secret to cultivating these valuable professional relationships lies in your own effort and dedication. You have to care enough to continually try new ways to create a bond, all without ever forcing it, being obnoxious or worst, acting fake! In addition to putting yourself out there, you have to show genuine interest and concern for others. Asking questions, building value and giving. With time and continuous effort you can develop valuable relationships for your business and build your tribe!

5 Reasons Why Not Knowing How to Do Something Should Never Stop You From Doing It

Posted on August 9, 2012 by Ariana Friedlander by Ariana Friedlander

Have you ever uttered these words, “I can’t do that, I don’t know how to!”

Photo by Bruce Turner

I’m pretty sure we all have had that sentiment at one point or another. Maybe you want to sew some curtains for your home, but than you think, “I don’t know how to sew, I can’t do that.” Similar situations can happen to us professionally as well as personally.

The pervasive feeling here is that you have to learn how to do something before you can actually do it. A lot of this is predicated on fear, “What if I mess up” or a lack of confidence, “I just don’t know what I’m doing.” That’s that sound of you holding yourself back! So stop it, What’s the worst thing that could happen anyway?

Here’s a newsflash for you, most of us don’t know what we’re doing and we make it up as we go along! This is especially true when innovation occurs. Do you think Thomas Edison knew what he was doing when he invented electricity. Or that Robert Cailliau and Tim Berners-Lee knew what they were doing when they invented the internet, of course not!

They figured it out as they went by: 1) envisioning the outcome they sought to create, 2) drawing on the knowledge they possessed, 3) experimenting with trial and error and 4) improving along the way until they arrived. If they can do it, so can you. So, if you think you can’t do it because you don’t know how to, I’m here to tell you to go ahead and try for these five simple reasons:

Experience is life’s best teacher - You’ve likely heard of the school of hard knocks! Yeah, that’s what happens when you learn from your experiences. You know those times you read about something, then follow what it says only to realize, “This isn’t going quite like I expected!” If you want to learn how to do something, then do it.
Build your confidence – Reflecting on the challenges you have overcome and your accomplishments helps to build your confidence. And the only way to build your confidence is to have the courage to go for it. Do it now and you will believe you can do anything later.
Master the creative process – The four steps I outlined above are a simplistic overview of the Creative Process, which goes beyond artistic pursuits. It is a process of bringing a vision to fruition, turning an idea into reality. Once you learn that you can learn to do whatever you put your mind to.
Opportunities for improvement and innovation – By teaching yourself as you go, you’re not limited by pre-determined perceptions of the right way to do something or hamstrung by beliefs that another thing is impossible. Your mind is open to new and innovative solutions that may not have been tried before.
Avoid learning bad habits - Sometimes when we follow someone else’s definition of the right way to do something, we learn the wrong way and consequently form bad habits. When you learn something by doing it you develop and keen ability to evaluate and improve as you go rather then blindly doing as you were taught.

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