The Networking Fallacy – 7 Steps to Authentic and Effective Networking

Networking

Conversation Abounds in Networking Groups

If you’ve ever been to a networking event, then you’ve likely met that person that bustles around the room meeting as many people as possible to give their business cards to.  When you meet, there’s usually this feigned interest in what you do, then they quickly turn the conversation onto why you should do business with them followed by exchanging cards with you before they move onto their next conquest in the room.

You might be envious of this outgoing networker’s fervor.  Well don’t be!  Card pushing, heartless blaber-mouthing and pushy sales tactics are not effective ways for building valuable professional relationships that last.

So many people mistakenly think that networking is a matter of getting down a good elevator speech, going to as many events as possible and passing out cards to every breathing soul in the room.  Well, I’m here to tell you that’s not the case.

Networking is about making valuable connections so you can build relationships with colleagues and potential clients.  But in order for those connections to be valuable and the relationships to be genuine and fruitful, you need to target the RIGHT kind of group and put in concerted time and effort to your endeavors.

With it being the “year of the Meetup,” I probably don’t need to tell you about the growing number of networking opportunities.  I’m pretty sure there’s at least three networking events going on in Fort Collins every weekday.  I’ve gone to as many as four networking events in one day.

You can quickly burn out if you try to make every networking opportunity (trust me, I know), not to mention you’ll waste a lot of time networking in groups that aren’t a match (yup, been there and done that too).  Ideally, you want to network with groups that align with your target audience.  They should share common values with you, demonstrate an ability to provide value to you all while you’re being your authentic self.  So how do you connect with a group that’s a fit for you?  Follow these 7 steps to Authentic and Effective networking:

  1. Know Thyself – Before you start hitting the streets, you should answer a few important questions: First, you have to know a bit about yourself, what you like, value and enjoy.  Secondly you have to know a bit about your ideal connection, describe who they are, what they’re like and the capacity you’d like to work with them.  Having an understanding of these things will help you to network most effectively.
  2. Be Authentic – Be true in how you’re representing yourself.  Don’t try to be someone you’re not, or you know straight up lie to pretend you have something in common with someone.
  3. Connect with the Right People – If the people you want to connect with (i.e. CEO’s, HR Managers, Controllers, complimentary service providers, etc.) are not participating in the groups you’re checking out then it is probably a waste of time.  Make the most of your efforts by joining groups that will provide the most valuable connections for your business.
  4. Find a Group You Enjoy - While it is important to stretch beyond your comfort zone, you shouldn’t put yourself in a room with a bunch of suits and ties if it’s not your style.  There are many benefits to participating in a group you like being a part of: first, you’re more likely to be your authentic self and and secondly, you’ll want to participate in the group over time.
  5. Connect with People Emotionally – Chances are, you can find something in common with most people you’ll meet.  Things as simple as where you grew up, favorite restaurants, hobbies, family or work experience can provide an opportunity to ease into conversation so you may make a real emotional connection with someone.
  6. Stick With It – Building meaningful and valuable relationships takes time.  When you join a networking group commit to spending at least six months as an active member.  If you’re not there, you’re not demonstrating the quality of your character or the value you have to offer.  In short, absenteeism makes a non-impression on people.
  7. Hold One-On-One Meetings – When you perceive a genuine connection with a fellow member, get to know them by scheduling a coffee or lunch meeting.  This is a great opportunity for you both to learn more about each other’s businesses and for you to demonstrate value while seeking the value they can bring to you.

With years of networking experience behind me, I’ve developed a keen insight to determine when someone I meet is or is not a good fit for me to develop a working relationship with.  Simply put, if I see a misalignment I don’t pursue developing a deeper connection with that person.  While it may be tempting to work the numbers game of sales, when it comes to networking go for quality not quantity!

Confronting our Freedom: Privacy in the 21st Century

We just celebrated 4th of July, Independence Day!  The sacred, all American holiday where we celebrate our God given right, freedom.  Freedom of governance of life, and our personal liberty.  One of our most cherished freedoms, our right to privacy, resides on an ever-changing playing field.

Sometimes I think we cling to the myth of total privacy in a hyper-connected, global society.  It is not that we don’t enjoy any privacy.  We do.  And I for one, truly being a pretty private person (seriously, I’m a juxtaposition upon juxtaposition), totally get it.  With the innovations that have come as a result of the world wide web, information flow cannot be so controlled like it was in the past.

But, what we once guarded to keep private in organizations and personally is now out in the open.  Whether you like it or not, the reality is here.  And you have a few options.  Either act like it’s still 1979 and try to keep everything under lock and key.  Or demonstrate that you believe so much in your ability to walk the talk by embracing transparency.

Jay Coen Gilbert

Jay Coen Gilbert Presenting on July 3

One of the things I loved about the presentation from Jay at B Lab was the report card he shared of a member business.  Right there, on their sleeves was the performance of the company including a rating for their Governance Practices, Worker Relations, Community Support, and Environmental Policies.

The kicker is that, most of these companies, according to the standards of our educational system, are not “passing” class.  And that’s fine, in fact that’s understandable.  The shifts that need to occur overall are systematic and fairly significant.  Such change takes time as well as a dedication to a process of continual improvement.  After all, we’re not expecting perfection, we are looking for a demonstrated commitment to the journey.

By embracing transparency, these businesses are accepting their imperfection and showing some vulnerability.  And for various reasons, they’re stronger as a result.  These companies are saying, “Hey we’re really dedicated to doing our best and being the best for the world.  So much so that we’ll share our progress to let others verify our practices.  And we’ll let you see our report card.”

That’s not to say that companies should play the game with all their cards facing out.  Or communicate with reckless abandon.  But to be held accountable by being transparent about their business practices is the only way we can create and uphold new standards for socially responsible enterprises.

B Corps – A Community Conversation about Triple Bottom Line Business Models

A few weeks ago I published a blog post about B Corps and the response I got indicated that people were intrigued to learn more.  Well, I present  just the opportunity some of you were looking for!  You are invited to join us for:

B Corps – A Community Conversation about Triple Bottom Line Business Models

When: Tuesday July 3, 2012 8am – 9:30am

Where: At the Rocky Mountain Innosphere

Innovative businesses of the 21st Century are adopting new models of organization, whereby they commit to making a positive social and environmental impact, as well as striving for economic gains. B Corps provide a framework and community support for these emerging businesses. Come out to meet Jay Coen Gilbert, Co-Founder of B Lab, for a community conversation about the opportunities and challenges for B Corps in today’s marketplace. During this session the following questions will be answered, plus questions from the audience:

  • What does the new model of business look like?
  • What is the difference between a Certified B Corps and a Benefit Corporation?
  • What is happening with Colorado Benefit Corporation legislation?
  • What are the benefits of being a B Corps or a Benefit Corporation?

This is a free event (refreshments provided), but space is limited – RSVP required.

Email Ariana(at)RosabellaConsulting.com or text (970) 218-3922

About B Lab and Jay Coen Gilbert, Co-Founder

B Lab is a nonprofit organization that serves a global movement of entrepreneurs that use the power of business to solve social and environmental problems. This will redefine success in business so that all companies compete not only to be the best in the world, but the best for the world.

B Lab drives this systemic change through three interrelated initiatives: 1) building a community of Certified B Corporations to make it easier for all of us to tell the difference between “good companies” and good marketing; 2) passing legislation to accelerate growth of social entrepreneurship and impact investing; and 3) driving capital to impact investments through use of GIIRS Ratings and Analytics.

Certified B Corporations 1) meet rigorous standards of social and environmental performance; 2) legally expand their corporate responsibilities to include consideration of stakeholder interests; and 3) build collective voice through the power of the unifying B Corporation brand. As of April 2012, there are more than 500 Certified B Corporations from over 60 industries, representing a diverse multi-billion marketplace.

Legislation creating a new corporate form with higher standards of corporate purpose, accountability, and transparency — called the benefit corporation — has passed in 7 states and is moving forward with broad bi-partisan support in more than ten more.

B Lab’s GIIRS Ratings & Analytics platform, launched at the Clinton Global Initiative in September 2011, is being used by more than 50 GIIRS Pioneer Funds representing $3 billion in assets invested in 300 of the world’s leading social entrepreneurs across 30 countries form North America and Europe through emerging markets in Latin America, Asia, and Africa. 17 GIIRS Pioneer Investors have declared an investment preference for GIIRS-rated funds and companies in their impact investing portfolios.

Prior to B Lab, despite having no game, Jay co-founded and sold AND 1, a $250M basketball footwear and apparel company based outside Philadelphia. Jay led AND 1’s product and marketing and was AND 1’s CEO during its period of most rapid growth.

Jay is a Henry Crown Fellow of the Aspen Institute, President of the Board of the Philadelphia chapter of KIPP Philadelphia Schools, a growing cluster of high performing public charter schools, and a former Board member of Investors’ Circle and Social Venture Network, leading national networks of social entrepreneurs and early stage social investors.

Jay grew up in New York City before heading west to Stanford University, graduating with a degree in East Asian Studies in 1989. Prior to AND 1, Jay worked for McKinsey & Co and several organizations in NYC’s public and non-profit sectors.

Between AND 1 and B Lab, Jay enjoyed a sabbatical Down Under and in Monteverde, Costa Rica with his yogini wife Randi and their two children, Dex, 13, and Ria 12. They live in Berwyn, PA.

Read the an interview with Jay Coen Gilbert in Entrepreneur Magazine!

What questions would you like answered at this event?  Post them as a comment here!

Multi-Generational Networking – The Salt and Pepper Lunch Club

Salt and Pepper Lunch Club LogoI’ve been thinking a lot about multi-generational relationships lately. (I know, random right) More specifically, as I get older I find that there is a big cultural difference even between me and recent college grads (which they’re not THAT much younger than me). But technology is changing so rapidly these days that they’re childhoods were completely different from mine and their world view is as well.

I see this with my parent’s generation too. I hear so many baby boomers lament that they’re just not comfortable sharing personal information online like “kids these days” do on facebook and blogs. Similarly, I can’t understand dating via text message (I’d just gotten a cell phone when I started dating my husband, we actually talked on landlines quite often in those days!).

There’s always been generational differences throughout history. What is interesting today is that technology has literally changed the way we interact, the way we socialize at a rapid pace. And as a result we are losing lot of opportunities for developing meaningful relationships. We spend more time with our peer groups now than ever before in history. And I, for one, feel that it is a terrible loss to not be able to enjoy the synergistic opportunity to learn from a multi-generational friendship!

Bridging the generational gap requires a concerted effort from all sides to learn to relate together. Veterans of the workforce may benefit from learning to use the internet, use email and join social networks. And youth can put down their latest gadget to have an in-person conversation. In addition to everyone making an effort, we need organized opportunities for connecting as well.

I recently had the privilege of participating in a group that had such a premise! The Salt and Pepper Lunch Club was created as an informal social forum where up-and-coming professionals could mix and mingle with more seasoned professionals and community leaders. What I liked is that Salt and Pepper Club is different from the other business groups I’ve participated in. The level of experience and professional backgrounds of participants is impressive, and the casual forum provides an easy going opportunity to make meaningful connections.

The group was started in 2010 by local businessman, Mike Pierce when he met some recent college grads that had accomplished impressive feats in their time but struggled to meet the right people in the community. He hoped that young professionals may meet mentors through the group and at the very least connect with experienced colleagues that they could learn from. And feedback from participants is that such results have occurred.

The Salt and Pepper Lunch Club is hosted at Sonny Lubick’s Steakhouse on the 2nd Friday of each month (usually). Professionals are welcome to join, RSVP’s are requested (email Mike). For $20 (all-inclusive: drink, lunch, tip), Sonny’s puts on an amazing lunch buffet! The first part of event is informal networking followed by lunch and a presentation about local, community happenings.


Raging Fires, Statistics and Human Behavior

Just 20 miles north-west of my house a horrendous wildfire rages.  And it breaks my heart to see the smoke billowing above our beautiful Poudre Canyon.  In just 3 days the fire has grown to 5,000 acres and only 5% of it is contained.  What’s worse, is that like the majority of wildfires that devastate our dry countryside, this one is also man made.

Hewlett Gulch Fire

The Hewlett Gulch Fire, photo by Tony Falbo

The situation makes me think of a TED talk that I recently watched about the optimism bias, which “is our likelihood to overestimate good events in our life and underestimate our likelihood of experiencing bad events” Tali Sharot.  Her research found that even though we might know a statistic, that we do not identify with it.  For example 40% of marriages will end in divorce.  But when newlyweds were asked about their chances of getting divorced they said it was 0%, even though the reality is that 2 out of 5 marriages will end in divorce.

This can be seen in people’s perceptions of their own chances for getting cancer, getting in a car accident, etc.  So, what does this have to do with the Hewlett Gulch fire?  I can’t help but wonder why people continue to make careless, reckless decisions that result in horrendous wildfires ravaging our forests and threatening homes.  Even though the statistics show that humans cause the vast majority wildfires, people still make bonfires when there are restrictions, carelessly discard cigarettes and literally play with fire.

I think that these problems persist because people do not identify with statistics.  And it is really not shocking that we don’t identify with statistics, their impersonal, static and feel distant from our reality.  So that’s why we ultimately won’t make decisions based on statistics alone.  For example, even though someone might know that they’re statistically more likely to die in a car accident when not wearing a seatbelt, doesn’t mean they’ll start wearing a seatbelt.

We do, however identify with stories.  And when we hear a story about someone else’s suffering, we can identify with that.  Suddenly we can place ourselves in their story which makes the potential negative consequences feel all the more real.  Granted everyone will have a different reaction to stories, and some stories we can identify with more than others.

You never hear about someone that caused a wildfire going on the circuit, sharing their story about the pain and suffering they caused.  Sure, we have smokey the bear, and he’s a lovable icon.  He’s been anthropomorphized and his story is touching.  But unless you’re a child, whose imagination is taken away by stories of mystical creatures like Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the boogie man, Smooky’s story is not one we can easily identify with as we become hardened by reality.

The exact cause of the fire is still under investigation.  But still I wonder if the individual(s) that caused this horrendous disaster fell prey to the optimism bias.  Did they just assume that they were immune to the statistics that over 80% of wildfires are caused by humans?  Did an innocent act take a turn for the worse?  Was this an intentionally sadistic effort or an accident all together?

We’re Building Community Through Reading: the EntrepreNerds Sip n’ Swap

I love the tagline for Mugs Coffee Lounge, “Community Through Coffee” because it really embodies what this uniquely Fort Collins coffee shop is all about.

Well, we’re building community through books and reading.

Joins us for the very First EntrepreNerds Sip ‘n Swap: Cocktail Party & Book Exchange

picture of books

Make room on your bookshelf!

Thursday, May 17 at 5:30pm – 7:30pm
at Cafe Vino
1200 S. College Ave.
Fort Collins, CO 80524

More details and RSVP on Meetup or Facebook

How this works
Bring books of your choice to share in our free swap; give some, take some, and the books that go unclaimed will be donated to charity. Business and non-business books welcome!

We’ll be donating the unclaimed books to a local charity of your choice.  Vote on one of these the three charities below:

Larimer County Department of Corrections

The correctional facility has an inmate library.  They also have a Community Volunteer Tutoring program to help inmate get their GED.  Prison libraries provide information to help inmates successfully re-enter society.

Education Life Training Center

Since 1966, Education Life Training Center (ELTC) has provided employment skills and literacy training to a wide variety of community members, including economically disadvantaged and culturally diverse populations in Larimer County. For many individuals in poverty, ELTC is a starting point for those who are interested in furthering their education and improving their economic situation.

Rist Canyon Volunteer Fire Department

The Rist Canyon Mountain Festival is a fundraiser for the Volunteer Fire Department.  They sell used books as well as other materials plus have Music & Entertainment.  Sunday September 2,2012from 10:00 to 4:00.

Comment below to cast your vote for one of these charities!

The EntrepreNerds Sip ‘n Swap is brought to you by: eSquared Exceptional EventsYellowbright, Inc. and Rosabella Consulting.